I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
