This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
