bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
