carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
