I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
