just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
