Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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