please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
