How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
