Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.

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  (937): you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with. http://tfl.nu/ct1p
  Replies (40) Good night (5966) Bad night (955)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I did the walk of shame to church this morning.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  hooker boots and all?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.

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  (313): I did the walk of shame to church this morning. (734): hooker boots and all? (313): Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway. http://tfl.nu/9ht9
  Replies (14) Good night (7250) Bad night (1043)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.

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  (631): Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me. http://tfl.nu/yrie
  Replies (9) Good night (2784) Bad night (1145)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.

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  (703): theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already. http://tfl.nu/gg0y
  Replies (11) Good night (2701) Bad night (909)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.

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  (320): What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off. http://tfl.nu/fj7u
  Replies (12) Good night (2738) Bad night (890)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.

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  (248): If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is. http://tfl.nu/p0ib
  Replies (15) Good night (2759) Bad night (1048)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!

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  (479): I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning! http://tfl.nu/musz
  Replies (12) Good night (1603) Bad night (585)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I don't wanna be gay for a night.

  (850): View more from Florida

  I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.

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  (208): I don't wanna be gay for a night. (850): I think it would be worth it for free alcohol. http://tfl.nu/uvi0
  Replies (2) Good night (976) Bad night (721)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.

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  (423): Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes? (256): absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything. http://tfl.nu/f7u7
  Replies (9) Good night (1000) Bad night (500)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again

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  (607): Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again http://tfl.nu/arnj
  Replies (3) Good night (544) Bad night (352)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff

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  (361): I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff http://tfl.nu/5gl3
  Replies (10) Good night (1264) Bad night (426)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"

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  (606): And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?" http://tfl.nu/s0we
  Replies (4) Good night (569) Bad night (377)
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  (718): View more from New York

  He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina

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  (718): He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina http://tfl.nu/wn6v
  Replies (7) Good night (349) Bad night (824)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks

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  (804): She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks http://tfl.nu/ro6s
  Replies (3) Good night (918) Bad night (233)
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  (925): View more from California

  You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it

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  (925): You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it http://tfl.nu/tbd8
  Replies (0) Good night (753) Bad night (213)

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