I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
