Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?

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  (817): why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"? http://tfl.nu/jsyi
  Replies (12) Good night (2534) Bad night (610)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Small penises have feelings too.

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  (573): Small penises have feelings too. http://tfl.nu/ikhv
  Replies (68) Good night (880) Bad night (3835)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there

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  (305): If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there http://tfl.nu/dyet
  Replies (14) Good night (5696) Bad night (649)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room

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  (403): I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room http://tfl.nu/da0x
  Replies (156) Good night (5595) Bad night (809)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving

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  (678): So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving http://tfl.nu/h9li
  Replies (28) Good night (960) Bad night (8029)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team

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  (360): Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team http://tfl.nu/lnn4
  Replies (6) Good night (4442) Bad night (1266)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget

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  (267): i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget http://tfl.nu/82kf
  Replies (8) Good night (2409) Bad night (1004)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.

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  (425): Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested. http://tfl.nu/cy6p
  Replies (5) Good night (1418) Bad night (804)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.

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  (253): So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel. http://tfl.nu/ldso
  Replies (5) Good night (1058) Bad night (1030)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?

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  (203): We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right? http://tfl.nu/13y7
  Replies (9) Good night (1443) Bad night (660)
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  (619): View more from California

  Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.

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  (619): Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that. http://tfl.nu/6d83
  Replies (7) Good night (1084) Bad night (764)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.

  (512): View more from Texas

  I found Cheetos.

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  (512): Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life. (512): I found Cheetos. http://tfl.nu/4vfh
  Replies (6) Good night (700) Bad night (357)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.

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  (206): I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice. http://tfl.nu/3w4k
  Replies (5) Good night (404) Bad night (779)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing

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  (651): Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing http://tfl.nu/82bp
  Replies (0) Good night (527) Bad night (291)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...

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  (778): She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there... http://tfl.nu/opdp
  Replies (1) Good night (220) Bad night (418)

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