Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix

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  (214): No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix http://tfl.nu/3cn5
  Replies (11) Good night (753) Bad night (3753)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.

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  (612): You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast. http://tfl.nu/3zo3
  Replies (47) Good night (29539) Bad night (1507)
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  (415): View more from California

  You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.

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  (415): You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off. http://tfl.nu/eb22
  Replies (15) Good night (4947) Bad night (2031)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.

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  (817): When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar. http://tfl.nu/ucur
  Replies (15) Good night (5378) Bad night (1460)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.

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  (+44): Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though. http://tfl.nu/3f7o
  Replies (7) Good night (5318) Bad night (1036)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...

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  (253): Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning... http://tfl.nu/es8o
  Replies (6) Good night (2810) Bad night (875)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday

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  (414): We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply (1-414): I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday http://tfl.nu/j6sm
  Replies (10) Good night (5211) Bad night (926)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.

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  (847): hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight. http://tfl.nu/ti0f
  Replies (2) Good night (2038) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.

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  (248): Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed. http://tfl.nu/7r2l
  Replies (10) Good night (3217) Bad night (1034)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.

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  (330): I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date. http://tfl.nu/3kpf
  Replies (3) Good night (938) Bad night (527)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.

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  (509): Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs. http://tfl.nu/0hn1
  Replies (6) Good night (943) Bad night (579)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever

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  (765): So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever http://tfl.nu/rkn4
  Replies (3) Good night (1275) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?

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  (708): what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!? http://tfl.nu/lygu
  Replies (0) Good night (665) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous

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  (416): I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous http://tfl.nu/x68e
  Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.

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  (619): This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before. http://tfl.nu/nkfw
  Replies (0) Good night (380) Bad night (217)

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