someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.