I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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