I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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