Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize