Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
