I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Randomize
