Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
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I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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