My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
