I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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