no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
