And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
