Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
