I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
