He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
not ubering you a puppy
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
