I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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