There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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