I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
