im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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