How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
