Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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