i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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