she was so not down for the gang bang
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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