I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
