oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
