I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
