Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
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Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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