HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
