Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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