nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
