Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
