Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
