Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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