i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
