She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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