Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
