he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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