Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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