so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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