i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
