Whod you bang
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize