I love black thongs
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
