What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
