I haven't been this sober since birth.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
