I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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