I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
