sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
