I would go down on you faster than GM stock
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
