Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
