How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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