a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
