guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
