I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
