I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
