if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
