U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
