I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
