Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
