I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize